photo by Dan Hooper

Last night was the record release party for the Vaticans new CD and I only have 2 complaints so I’ll get ‘em out of the way now. First of all the debut full length is called “Guardia Svizzera Pontificia” and even though I’m Italian I can’t pronounce it. (It refers to the Swiss Guards at Vatican City, who happen to dress pretty ridiculously so I can see why they decided on this for an album title and who cares what I think or can or cannot pronounce anyway!)

Second complaint, no vinyl! (The CD is great and it feels like a classic that has been in my collection forever, I want my Vaticans vinyl! ) O.K. enough complaining, I was thinking about it on my way home from the show last night. The Vaticans are like my brothers and sisters in rock & roll. Like my band Hard Place, they have been around for awhile, after two singles they are just now releasing a full-length (after an EP and gazillions of CD-R’s Hard Place full length debut coming soon), both bands have had very popular and influential members leave the band, both bands replaced said departing members with super hot super talented women and both bands are still rocking. Yay!

However the flip side to this is that both bands have sounds that not all listeners will gravitate towards. With Hard Place often pigeon holed as 80’s derivitives, the Vaticans wear their Nuggets on their sleeves and the 60’s garage sound is not for everyone. So what! most all popular music is really annoying, “Guardia Svizzera Pontificia” (there, I said it!), recorded by Tim Green sounds great and boldly goes where the Vaticans have never gone before. Highlights include the sultry “Venus Fly Trap”, “Little Boy Blue” with it’s trippy jingle jangle interlude sandwiched between an awesome heavy riff, and the undeniably classic hidden track “We Luv U Eddy” is girl group pop at it’s finest (listening to the song is like meeting this Eddy character, whoever he is!). I saw on the Vaticans MySpace page that the legendary vocalist Mary Weiss of the Shangri-Las’ wrote to tell them she digs their cover of Out In The Streets, I myself would like to hear Mary cover some Vaticans. There are some fine songs here.

I hope this new release out now on the Pure Filth label gives the Vaticans a passport/upgrade to performing at better venues. The power of this band live has yet to be fully realized for me. I want to see them perform at a venue where the singers can hear themselves sing, where one of the best rhythm sections in town gets pumped through a huge house P.A. and where the guitar, well Danyka Kosturak’s guitar sound, with it’s tasteful periodic tremelo, is always the bomb.
The Vaticans

Last Holiday Season Ashley Huizenga, Freddy Christy and the rest of the Hard Place gang decided to make a video Christmas Card as a thank you to friends and fans. Once posted on YouTube, the clip somehow generated over 55,000 hits.

For a harmless little video, most of the comments were extremely negative and surprisingly hostile! Here’s a sample of the most amusing;

…….Americans see this and think “Europeans are stupid”
Europeans see US presidential elections/iraq war/reports on obesity and gun crime and think “Americans are stupid”……

……Yeah, because the US is the first country to attack another with little/no provocation…oh wait, wasn’t that England? or Germany? or France? or Spain? or Portugal? So many colonies and conquests..I can’t keep track anymore!……

…..Fuck americans and their shitty music…..

…..A cross between A Clockwork Orange, The Arcade Fire (if they sucked) and a massive, massive acid trip…..

…..Just…Wow. Thankyou b3ta. Definitely American, you can’t hide the knucklehead accent (much as they’re trying). As for you pwnednoob, European conquesting stopped about a hundred years ago, whereas the “Land of the Free” that remains prejudiced against African Americans and shot peaceful protesters in the 60’s seems to be getting a taste for imperialism……

O.K. Enough with the negative comments. Can you believe that shit? However, other people liked it and were amused by XXX-MAS Kitten. I found this on You Tube today so for all you haters, here’s proof that XXX-Mas Kitten spreads joy around the world:

For those of you who haven’t seen the original, you can do so here.

XXX-Mas Kitten

Best of all time? Myles knows how to set the bar for a new feature. Whatevs, I think this song by myspace of the week alumni The Units is pretty great. Mission is a humorous ode to, you guessed it, the mission: burritos, marijuana, the …um… fashion, and humongous boom boxes. Its the closest thing to a party song on the album, and the chorus makes me smirk every time I hear it “The Mission is bitchin’!/Mission I don’t take no ^%::&++!/Alright!” (note, that’s the band censoring itself). Honestly, the mission hasn’t changed too much in the twenty seven years that have passed from since the release of Digital Stimulation on 415 records.

Thursday night at the eagle tavern is one of my favorite nights in the city. Doug Hilsinger throws a curve ball at the local leather queens by inviting some pretty awesome bands to share the bar. Actually, the leather queens handle it just fine, its all the regualar queens who don’t know what to make of it.

Last night speed queen and ex-boyfriends and a tribute to THE GERALDINE FIBBERS helped kick off folsom street fair weekend confusing queens world wide. I got there late and only got photos of ex-boyfriends. Look!

see more here!

It was the my fair lady beyond thunderdome party. Come on San Francisco, you’re not carrying your weight in the theme party department!

see more here!

We really need to get back on the ball with this, but Thursday is still part of the week so its not too late!

Anyway, this week its super nice guy, the actually kinda world famous Safety Scissors. His last record for ~scape (the label run in part by minimalist glitch dub mastermind Pole) is full of cute electronic pop songs and despite that ended up being one of the more enjoyable records for me that year due to all of the psychedelic flourishes repeated headphone listening yielded. Neat!

http://www.myspace.com/safetyscissorsmusic

photo by Damani Moyd

Gangsta Queen grew up in Las Vegas and now lives in Los Angeles. Supposedly she worked at Circus Circus as a clown, but was fired for wearing too much make up. When I saw Gangsta Queen live, she totally rocked the party. I loved her. I was excited to get home and listen to some of her songs on MySpace… but was a bit disapointed when I didn’t recognize my favorite song from her set. Luckily today she posted it. It’s called Spoonful of Gangsta. And it’s kind of perfect. It’s silly but delivered in a really whiney way. It could be the worst song in the world, but for some reason it works. Maybe its because of great lines like “If you wanna be my man, take me to Disney Land” and “I do my thing, but I don’t do dishes.” Or maybe it’s the ridicolous smooth jam drum beat coupled with the West Coast high pitched synth. Who knows.
- – -
But for the most part – queer rap totally blows. Sorry guys. I’ve had my eye on it for a while. I could only get behind one artist, Foxxjazell, on the traveling “homohop” festival Homo Revolution Tour 2007.

Get On the Grind by Foxxjazell

- – -
Now, I don’t wanna be negative, but since this IS a San Francisco music blog, I feel incline to talk about San Francisco’s JFP (Julie Fuckin’ Potter) – who was also on the Homo Revolution Tour. I don’t want to hate, but I really dont like JFP. To give her credit: she has one okay song, Server Homies, which is about working in a restaurant. But most of the JFP songs only serve to assert her machismo and fake accent – in a preachy but not-to-be-taken-seriously kind of way.

My girl Keyshia came out with an album today. Guests on Just Like You include Diddy, Missy Elliot, Lil Kim and Oakland’s own Too $hort. If only a Bay Area inde band could have such a huge, interest generating record. I recommend reading this excellent writeup by Johnny Ray Huston on Keyshia.

Here are a few tracks you can sample:

Same Thing (Interlude)

Let It Go feat. Missy Elliot and Lil Kim

My dear friend Renier sent me this riddle. This table is on eBay right now, if you’d like to buy it. MAN OR NOT? If you have any guesses, post them in the comments!

Vice magazine, the free hipster bible from New York, reviewed Two Gallants‘ self titled record out Tuesday on Saddle Creek. They gave it a good review, which surprises me because Two Gallants just did this huge tour with Les Claypool.

If you’re a rich gay Asian, San Francisco is mecca. If you’re anyone else, it’s a smoldering cesspool of dinks, douches, and other assorted wieners pretending to enjoy third-rate living at first-rate prices. But just like gold rises to the top in a bowl of shit (I made that up), Two gallants have emerged from the mess and continue, with this, their third LP, to blow all the other current drum-guitar combos out of the water. That’s right – all of them. JIM RICE

Do you think they’re right about San Francisco?

I have to say, I can’t completely get behind Two Gallants. I don’t really like jam bands, and I don’t like over emotive post-Modest Mouse singing. And they’re kind of both. I don’t really know where this kind of singing started. I’ve never been interested in those bands. Could someone clue me in? It reminds me of the post-Eddie Vedder singing… where everyone adopted this weird twang in their voice. You still hear it today sometimes. Ew.

I do respect Two Gallants hustle. They’re totally cool in my book. Check out their impressive past show history. It doesn’t even seem comprehensive, the show I did with them isn’t even listed!

Watch this video that pokes fun at the whole hipster/Vice/American Apparel generation, if you haven’t seen it already: