Well, I’d held back writing a piece on Doug until I’d actually had a chance to work with him…and now I have.
First off, my ears are still rattling!
Doug is a rawker in the truest sense of the word. His many bands have graced the best stages throughout our fine city and the world and have left audiences in awe of his remarkable talents for years. My mother used to tell me, being a good, supportive and deluded mother that she believed I could sing in any style, from Elvis to Mahalia she’d say. Well, if this were true for anyone, it would be for Doug Hilsinger. Except…he does it all with a guitar. A mean, ground shaking and altogether unbelievably impressive guitar. The man has been in every type of band conceivable. From country and blue grass to head banger and speed metal. He can do it all!
To name but a few;

Spokepoker
Assassins of God.
Bomb
Waycross
Behold the armada
Hallflowers
Bee and Flower

The list just goes on.

Then of course there’s his groundbreaking recording of Brian Eno’s Taking Tiger Mountain (By Strategy).

He re-arranged Eno’s entire masterpiece, deconstructed its original and turned it out and into a masterpiece of a whole new and different imagining. Eno himself gave the record a nice little blurb via telephone. Check it out.

http://www.saucefaucet.com/enomessage.mp3

Need I say more? Very well…I shall. Doug has even performed Taking Tiger Mountain (By Strategy) with his Eno Orchestra at no less than world famous Fillmore Auditorium.

http://www.saucefaucet.com/tiger.html

Now here is where I mooch my way into the picture. Last night, I had the extreme pleasure…(honestly I hadn’t had that much fun in a long, long while, including the night before at my own band’s cd release party!)…of playing with one of Doug’s outstanding cover bands at The Eagle Tavern.
If you have not seen or heard any of Doug’s many cover bands with which he performs once or twice a year at The Eagle Tavern, then you are really missing out on some fun fun fun!!! You owe it to yourself as a true San Franciscan to come out and see these shows. Every year, he assembles musicians from all walks, all male; who don wigs and dresses, and for one night only, performs what amounts to sheer magic.
Here are a few that I have seen and have left me speechless;

Cinnamon Girls- Neil Young and Crazy Horse
Fat Bottom Girls-Queen
She-Gees- Bee Gees
52 Grrrrls- B-52’s (in which I got to be Cindy Wilson)

And then, of course, there is his maverick band, Bomb

Bomb, was the name of an acid fueled San Francisco based hard rock band started in the late 80’s. They toured extensively, released several albums, including one on Warner/Reprise in 1992, but began their career with a vinyl only LP on their own Boogadigga Records circa 1987 entitled “To Elvis In Hell”. The band were known for their intense music and wild onstage antics…and occasional nudity.
Their first LP caught the attention of Rock and Roll scribe and historian Greil Marcus, as well as a slew of indie zines and punk rock fans across the American heartland where they toured.

They signed to Bay Area based Boner Records in 1988 who put out “Hits of Acid” on vinyl and cassette.

Bomb - I Loved You Then I Died

Bomb -Smile & Pose

This record was followed up in 1989 with “Happy All The Time” a vinyl & cassette EP. At the time they were one of San Francisco’s most popular local acts outdrawing local faves like Primus, Chris Isaak and 4 Non Blondes, and soon worked out a European deal with Gary Held’s fledgling Revolver label to release “Lucy In The Sky With Desi” in 1990, the band’s first CD, which combined material from both earlier Boner releases.

Heck, they even did a certain Depeche Mode cover that was recorded and released in Germany in 1990, a good decade or so before Johnny Cash got hipped to it by Rick Rubin…

Bomb - Personal Jesus

In 1991, they attracted the attention of former Jane’s Addiction manager Charley Brown, who got the band a deal with the Warner Bros. side imprint Reprise, originally founded by Frank Sinatra.

Bomb - There Is No Promise Of A Future In The Moment

Gee do you think that song title could’ve dimmed their prospects with Warner Bros?

If that wasn’t bad enough…

How about telling WB’s in house legendary Van Halen / Doobie Bros./Bullet Boys producer Ted Templeman you don’t want his stinking help and instead spending your budget flying out to fat worthless world music remix czar Bill Laswell’s pad.

The CD/Cass that resulted was “Hate Fed Love” ponderously produced in Brooklyn by Laswell’s lackey’s , basically sucking most of the life out of the band’s sound and creating a record that would soon flood cutout bins nationwide. Can you say Tax Write Off?

(Ironically, The Flaming Lips, another difficult to pigeonhole act that Bomb toured with, were brought on board the label at the same time with a more loving touch by a certain David Katznelson, and are still on the WB to this day. Even after Katznelson left the corporate hoo haw…)

Bomb’s total lack of tour support, non-existent radio & retail promotion, infighting, spiraling speed and heroin use all doomed the band. They broke up in 1993, but eventually emerged out of rehab & ruin to play some celebratory San Francisco shows in the late 1990’s and released a fan farewell CD only EP called “Lovesucker.”

Doug also manages and books the world famous Eagle Tavern, and has championed the careers of many bands the world over, which is why touring bands clamor at the chance of playing The Eagle. Not to mention, it’s one of thee best paying venues in the city for up and coming musicians.
http://www.sfeagle.com/

Doug Hilsinger records, mixes and masters many bands including my own, Mon Cousin Belge, Quelle Horreur in his own studio, Saucefaucet.

http://www.saucefaucet.com/

So, stop by The Eagle sometime, and find the tall handsome guy with the red hair and goatee. Say howdy and ask for a cocktail, because he mixes them like he does his music. Which is to say, “he does not fuck around!”

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Have you ever crushed the hopes of a Squire? I’ve seen it happen. It went down something like this: Elton Tom and I went down to Lake Arrowhead to help with a new Hard Place video. Have you ever been to Lake Arrohead? If not you totally should go because its totally gorgeous and who knows how long nature is going to hold out. Driving in with Elisha, we could see the charred remains of what used to be tree covered mountainsides. A haunted forest that managed to make the Norwegian black metal (Emperor, if you’re one of those) blasting from the speakers sound good for more than one song.

We met up with bozo savant duo Freddy and Ashley at the Chateu de Huizenga who had their lovely friend Pilar in tow. Costumes were donned by some and then we set off to a Renaissance Faire on the shores of the big bear lake (also gorgeous) for some pre-shoot inspiration (I think). Have you ever been to a renaissance faire?? If not you should go because it is hilarious and frightening all at once. Its more of a medieval fair than a renaissance faire but its exactly what you think its going to be; people too geeky or too into history for dungeons and dragons. I kind of couldn’t believe they were actually saying things like “M’lady” or “thou doth lookst” or “ye” while all around you D-cups overrunneth. Nor could I believe “Ye Olde ATM” when I saw it even though I was joking about it the whole way there. Maybe I’m not telling you anything new, but as I said, I’d never been.

So there we are: Freddy in his ill fitting peasant shirt and over-sized boots and cutoffs, Elisha in a toga and skinny black jeans, and Ashley with a fresh flame on top of her head in a dancers outfit, cut somewhat too high, leopard skin print with bright rainbow streaks. (Elton and I looking pedestrian in our street clothes. Pilar walking the line with some gypsy kinda shorts on) Unsurprisingly, Ashley is a hit at the faire and we learn pretty quickly that the renaissance crowd is a pervy one. Again, probably not that surprising, there’s curvy women everywhere in corseted dresses designed to use the least amount of fabric possible to yield the shapeliest breast (with limited results, some of them jiggled like melting gelatin). It was still surprising how the way “m’Lady” could be said to make the skin crawl or the way men would ask if Ashley was a “wood nymph” while eying up her birthing hips. All in good fun I’m sure, but I’m convinced they were having orgies with each in the forest after the faire closed it’s gates. Or key parties in their hot tubs at home.

So we wander into the ring of the bawdy juggler who told ball jokes for a half an hour and then invited Ashley on stage as an assistant where he molested her. I believe this guy actually licked her neck. Ashley is a good sport though and you might have thought she was a plant based on her performance. I’ve never seen Freddy laugh so hard.

Afterwards we’re laughing and talking about the juggler and his, uh, juggling stick when a lusty wench rushes over! “Oh… he’s very good. Very good…”, but then she glared at us and hissed “But he has a child you know! And a wife!”. She scurries off and we’re confused because she has a shot glass shoved in between her tits. Actually, we look around and most of the ladies have shot glasses between their tits. WHAT IS THIS? Are we in a medieval fraternity? How have we missed body shots going on all around us? Another lusty wench scurries up to us and disdainfully corrects us “They’re bodice chillers m’Lady, to keep us cool in the heat. See?” And she smugly pulls from her breasts a long glass horn which fits snugly against the breast bone. But you know they’re doing body shots out of it.

I’m off topic. The Squire! So we end up at the jousting match. Jousting! Actually its entirely boring for a long time while they torment us by not jousting. Luckily, Pilar’s young fresh face caught the eye of ribald elder who explained to us in detail how the men wish women would carry pickles between their breasts so they could eat from between the bosom and also how the jousting ritual works. He wanted us to realize that the job of the squire was perhaps the most important of the whole fair. I can believe this because they are basically first response for these men in armour charging at each other full speed on horses with lances pointed at each other. At one point we saw both men knocked from their horses and one landed squarely on his head. The squire rushed over to make sure the knight was ok “Are you alright m’Lord?” he said without breaking character. It was pretty impressive. This guy was all business.

After the match we were allowed to pet the horses. The Squire was tending to the horse and laid eyes on Ashley and earnestly asked “Are you a Fairy, m’Lady?”. “No, uh… I’m a wood nymph” she said. “Oh…” he looked to the distance with great sadness and then rushed off to take care of his duties.

That is the story! I’m not sure it provided any inspiration for the video shoot or not. Take a look!

Posted in Badlands, Baroque, death metal, hard place, renaissance faire | 2 Comments »

Check out what lady Huizenga has been up to! “Knock Knock Pharaoh. P.S. We in Yo Tomb” is a queasy mix of hot aerobics video styles, candy, bad mc antics, and surrealist blue screen action. I’m pretty sure this is her best video creation:

Psycho analysis in the comments section, please!

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So, I have now come across 3 different fliers for the Mon Cousin Belge record release party at Cafe Du Nord on the 17th. So lets play a game. Leave a comment telling which band designed which flier, an explanation on why, and which one is your favorite. So far there is nothing to win or gain in doing this, but maybe i’ll just be nice and give some lucky person my spot on the guest list for the show. Seeing as i don’t even know if there is a guest list, maybe i’ll just send you a new, rad, Passionistas T-shirt, or hell maybe both! - OK!
1. - The one you have seen before.

2 -

3 -

OH, yeah, leave a comment on the video flier too if you want… its just underneath this post. And I know it’s easy to tell who did what - so this is all based on why, the best why might win! BEGIN FLIERFIGHT!!

Posted in Best San Francisco songs of all time, Girls, The Passionistas, bridez, cafe du nord, mon cousin belge presents emile, world famous | 7 Comments »

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Ex-Boyfriends
Puce Moment
Forever

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Holy shit, I have been so remiss. Originally “hired” by World Famous to be your East Bay reporter, I got caught up in some theater projects and my nights have been pretty well occupied. But I’m free now, and I did a pretty authentic tour of the scene last week. I mean, what’s left of the scene. With 21 Grand even further underground, and with Jon Benson’s bus missing-in-action and “resting” in a field somewhere in Michigan, it’s been a quiet summer, and I haven’t seen some people forever.

Except on Tuesday, everyone came out for the Club Sandwich’s 2-year anniversary Lobot show with No Age, Mika Miko, and Abe Vigoda. And by everyone I mean me, the five other people I knew there over 30 (six including George Chen, although I didn’t see him in the crowd), and the 400 teenagers who’re too young to get into the 18+ show at Great American Music Hall the previous night. I have never seen so many 15-year-olds in one place. Correction — I’ve never seen so many 15-year-olds popping pills in one place, but I’m pretty sure those weren’t black beauties. In every other respect the show reminded me of LA 20 years ago, and I guess LA hard-core is back. Mika Miko sounds so much like X, and X is my favorite band, so overall I thought this show was pretty great. Scott and I tried to figure out why shows aren’t surly affairs like SF in the 90s or straight up intimidating aggressive scenes like LA in the 80s and we figured the drugs are different now. And I’m pretty sure all the kids’ parents from Lobot are therapists and college professors.

On Friday there was First Fridays art-walk centered around Stork and Mama Buzz and it is just as retarded and hipster overrun as I suspected. John Benson threw a party at his house and Fly Fly Fly from Oregon played. They’re a noisey three-piece from Oregon and I liked them alot; it was a nicely aggressive counterpoint to the hipster takeover at 19th and Telegraph. What I didn’t like is punk-show hygiene. Is it a punk law that you must not use deodorant, and that you must proceed to sweat profusely in small crowded homes, and that you must proceed to invade my clean, well-groomed personal space with your subpar hygiene? Can you please get your dreadlocks out of my face? Thanks, and talk to you all later.

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