Joan As Police Woman
September 19th, 2008 by carol the aphid eater
My bitter half dragged me kicking and screaming to Cafe du Nord on Wednesday night to see Joan as Police Woman. I’d listened to her tracks on myspace a few times and was naturally very interested in her ballads. She writes these throaty yet lilting and heartbreaking songs that sort of stand at the cliff’s edge, then fall beautifully and bereft. She had this killer sort of Jew-fro thing going on at du Nord with lots of Polyester and Brooklyn sass. I loved it. She was actually genuinely funny and maybe even a little adorable. Okay i have to say this. Maybe I’m full of shit? Whenever she went to her electric piano and started her ballads, she had me completely in her grasp. Her message was loud and clear. Her ballads lie strangely between the cool sexiness of Roberta Flack and 70’s Bonnie Rait. I say strangely because even though I found myself referencing these classic song writers/performers, Joan as Police Woman had her own very special and unique style that was undeniable. But then she picked up the geetar and i fucking hated her! She even covered, “Let me stand next to your fire.” I thought that no one could ever possibly top Lou Barlow singing, “You’re as cold as ice,” but fuck me in the ass…Joan as Police Woman did. I wanted to scream. Every god damned song she did with that geetar was pretty much mid-tempo to up-tempo “rawkers,” and SUCKED CRUSTY HOMELESS ASS! What a bummer I thought. Why doesnt she JUST do ballads. We can handle it. We’re all adults. Why do bands feel the need to pepper their sets with these boring and completely uninteresting up-tempo numbers? I get it. Live show dynamics, blah…blah…blah! I say fuck that! Make me cry girl. Dont make me hate. And now having said this…I have to say…I love Joan as Police Woman.