If you can call a music video “cinema” and a brief appearance in said video a “debut” and you ignore the week where Will only drank rosé then, yes, this is Will Ivy of BRIDEZ’s gay cinema debut! And its hella gay.

Deep in the forest with strung out cartoon animals, alpha gay Hunx from Gravy Train!!!! laments the loss of his boyfriend with some of his best Joey Ramone woah-a-oh-oh’s, but then Will sets his deep piercing eyes on him and a junk food fueled romance is born providing wish fulfillment/fantasy material to a bunch of San Francisco gay men and food fetishists.

The debut seven inch by Hunx and his Punx “Gimme Gimme Back Your Love” / “You Don’t Like Rock ‘n Roll” is out now on Robs House Records, complete with scratch and sniff, er, win private parts cover art.

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Vintage clothier Opal Thornburgh and I were walking down H8 street after doing a little shopping when we saw these two girls taking photos on the street. Dumbly, we looked at them, and I guess something about us caught there eyes and they accosted us.

“Can we take your photo? It’s for our fashion blog!!!!”

and we were like, OK. So, of course we were feeling a little creeped out, but we didn’t want to be mean, or a bitch or anything so we just let them. After taking a few pix, we think ok, this is over, we can go, when out of nowhere they blind side us with a notebook:

“Can we ask a few questions???”

At which point, we sort of stammered an excuse, but they just ignored us:

“whats your favorite movie and favorite band?”

“uhhhh…..oldies….uhm….east asian horror movies…ahhhh…..uhhhh….”

“where did you buy your glasses?”

“sunglass hut?”

“Ok great! do you want to give us your e-mail address and we’ll send you a link when it gets blogged?”

“OK?”

And then they left us alone. But it was too late.

This is how we felt when we got home:

Posted in "The Trade", aaron sunhine, opal | 1 Comment »

We got kicked off our new years show (I have the documentary proof) and it leads me to doubt and questioning- why don’t people just love the Passionistas?

We are so troubled right now over how everybody is out to get the Passionistas. And by everybody we mean indie ‘rockers’, critics, haterz, teenagers, men, women, hating ass judges in Valencia, copz, neighbors, SF’s next third eye blind, coooool oldies DJ’s (total frenemies), ex-lovers and old label presidents. OK, so we have questions, and if you give the best answer you can win a Glow In The Dark T-Shirt from our PPAP (Passionista Pret a Porter) line.

-Why doesn’t the indie mafia love us?

-Why does the punk mafia hate us? don’t we suck enough to be a punk band?

-Is the hatred ppl feel for us motivated by sexism/homophobia/anti-semitism/anti-AZNism/anti-tallism?

-do ppl prejudice us because we <3 yuppies?

-Is it becuz we r 2 selfish and greedy and don’t ’support the scene’?

-r we 2 bold?

-Is it becuz we never ‘hang out’?

So please answer all questions, in complete sentences.

Posted in The Passionistas, aaron sunhine | 1 Comment »

PRE-ORDER

Three new songs from The Passionistas, lovingly recorded by JR from Girls: Righter’s Block, Ashlee Simpson, and French. On the flip two from Hard Place: a Totally Radd!! remix and a new one called Heroes of Dawnbreak.

$5 plus shipping. SHIPS 12/9

The Passionistas - Righter’s Block

Download it! The Passionistas - Righter’s Block

Hard Place - Bon Vivant (Totally Radd!! Remix)

Download it! Hard Place - Bon Vivant (Totally Rad!! Remix)

PRE-ORDER

Two new nuggets from BRIDEZ: Rolling Stoned b/w Heart. You’ve blown your speakers playing these to death on YouTube, now blow your speakers playing them to death on your stereo.

$5 + shipping. SHIPS MID-DECEMBER

BRIDEZ - Rolling Stoned

Download it! BRIDEZ - Rolling Stoned

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Calling all super fans, obsessives, people who are ready for their fifteen minutes, and anybody with an extra pillow. The Passionistas will be shooting a video for their song “Pie In The Sky” this Sunday, November 16th, at noon in Golden Gate Park. Come form some golden memories.

Passionistas - Pie In The Sky

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In

MERSA (you probably have it)
Pinkberry
having a relationship
synchronized swimming
broccoli
holiday cards
not saving peoples names in phonebook
never paying retail
Prop 8
pre-spending stimulus check
Chicago
excessively repetitive outfits
senior appreciation
pumpkin
European tourists

Out

Scabies
Jamba Juice
being single
The Olympics
posting too many YouTube videos on blogs
Sneakers
Wine tasting
Micro brews
Pomegranate and Lychee
Overcooking protein
pastels
poll watching
home makeover shows
diamonds
premium denim
Japanese tourists

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“You can sacrifice your sachro
Working in the back row
Bump in a dump til you’re dead
But kid ya gotta get a gimmick
If ya wanta get ahead!”
S. Sondheim

Everyone needs a gimmick and this lady’s got ‘em all!
But I feel I need to take out my god givin’ faggitude and say some things.
First;
WHY THE HELL ETHEL???
You do not look or sound like Ethel Merman. You look and sound like Joan Crawford and/or Bette Davis. Truth be told, I think any man over the age of 30 with a wig and smeared make-up looks like either Joan Crawford or Better Davis. Truth be told, you look more like the smashed up front end of a 1960 Plymouth Savoy, but now I’m just being mean. Listen, you got the gimmick right, but ya just got the billing WRONG!
Here’s Joan now!

And of course Bette!

Second;
It’s time for a change up in the ole musical repertoire grrrrl! I’m sure the AC/DC and Led Zeppelin… (three Zeppelin covers alone when I last saw you. PAINFUL!!!)… goes over nicely pretty much every time, but frankly, I think you’d be a helluva lot more interesting if ya took it up a few notches. I recommend a tutorial at Elton Tom’s house. He will hook your shit up with some more contemporary if not insightful numbers. No more tired ass freakin’ U2 or Bachman Turner Overdrive. I mean I know that these moldy ass songs you’re doing are sometimes necessary if not to at least appease the dumb people in the audience, but do you want to spoon feed people or do you want to FUCKING RAWK THE SHIT? How cool would it be for a lady of your err…age and err…talents to belt out an X-Ray Spex, Avengers, or even Slits song? I personally think that you could rawk the shit out of some Ramones (oh wouldn’t the kiddies just love that?) or maybe some Dolls, Stooges or Chuck Berry? I personally would love to hear you do your Ethel (though you look and sound more like Joan and/or Bette) doing “Release the bats” by Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds or maybe “Country Faggots” by The Country Teasers. If ya HAVE to do Jefferson Airplane, think of it like pepper. Sparingly.
GREAT gimmick, though not quite as funny or impressive as The Dueling Bankheads.

Check out these dorks I found on Youtube doing their best Ethel. I hate to say it…but…after your Elton Tom tutorial maybe a quick trip to Youtube for a lesson with some of America’s finest?


These two are just for fun

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My dream was to be an artist with enough popularity to warrant the leisure of recording albums with bottomless budgets released with global pedestrian acclaim. This was a fantasy… as any child feels they have the untapped power of a superhero… I felt I deserved the fate of The Beach Boys, Queen or The Beatles - even if I was agonizingly average.

I had a desire to stand on stage and make a fool of myself. Not because I was especially talented or funny, but because I was addicted to humiliation. It gave me an emotional arousal that was unmatched in my “real life.”

My mother was a teacher at my small town grammar school- my behavior was civilized, I scored fine on tests, and didn’t show any signs of schizophrenia. My family and teachers didn’t worry about the way I would turn out. My troublesome half siblings were either dead, shipped off to their other parent or too grown up to be in the house. My childhood was happy, but there were lonely times I felt unattended to.

I had unexpected public emotional outbursts. I quit sports teams by screaming at the coach over routine drills. This behavior felt relieving - but I didn’t like the vulnerable hangover. I refined my approach for attention by learning to be passive aggressive and to be an artist. I mean “artist” in the most pretentious way. You know how somebody who creates material from their mind seems worth listening to? Yeah I wanted that sort of attention.

As I grow older it occurs to me that I am much less an artist and much more an entertainer. I play bars BIweekly and am only known locally. I’m too unpopular to be deemed relevant… and too young to have any sort legacy. Basically I’m step away from becoming your average drag queen… far from my hopes of being in a classic rock band. But wait… there is hope!

I’m gonna get all Tony Robbins on you and say- there may be someone out their who believes in you… and wants to genuinely glimpse into your perspective. This can be as simple as someone falling in love with you, or as complicated as someone understanding your shitty art. Let it happen and give your 100%… the worst thing to die with is regret.

Myles and Christopher Owens (preform The Passionistas’) “Righter’s Block” 11/5/08 live at the first Club Club You’re Dead

I am happy I put 100% into my Halloween costume, even if I just wore it to work and fell asleep shortly after 8pm. I regret putting 83% into my performance Wednesday at WFISF’s Club Club You’re Dead. I’m not dieing any time soon… And I promise to be a more entertaining entertainer next time. Thank you blessed people. I cherish your smiles.

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VIDEO BY PETER MAX LAWRENCE AND REBECCA PARKS-RAMAGE

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