Joan As Police Woman
September 19th, 2008 by carol the aphid eater
My bitter half dragged me kicking and screaming to Cafe du Nord on Wednesday night to see Joan as Police Woman. I’d listened to her tracks on myspace a few times and was naturally very interested in her ballads. She writes these throaty yet lilting and heartbreaking songs that sort of stand at the cliff’s edge, then fall beautifully and bereft. She had this killer sort of Jew-fro thing going on at du Nord with lots of Polyester and Brooklyn sass. I loved it. She was actually genuinely funny and maybe even a little adorable. Okay i have to say this. Maybe I’m full of shit? Whenever she went to her electric piano and started her ballads, she had me completely in her grasp. Her message was loud and clear. Her ballads lie strangely between the cool sexiness of Roberta Flack and 70’s Bonnie Rait. I say strangely because even though I found myself referencing these classic song writers/performers, Joan as Police Woman had her own very special and unique style that was undeniable. But then she picked up the geetar and i fucking hated her! She even covered, “Let me stand next to your fire.” I thought that no one could ever possibly top Lou Barlow singing, “You’re as cold as ice,” but fuck me in the ass…Joan as Police Woman did. I wanted to scream. Every god damned song she did with that geetar was pretty much mid-tempo to up-tempo “rawkers,” and SUCKED CRUSTY HOMELESS ASS! What a bummer I thought. Why doesnt she JUST do ballads. We can handle it. We’re all adults. Why do bands feel the need to pepper their sets with these boring and completely uninteresting up-tempo numbers? I get it. Live show dynamics, blah…blah…blah! I say fuck that! Make me cry girl. Dont make me hate. And now having said this…I have to say…I love Joan as Police Woman.
The one and thee only…Doug Hilsinger
August 29th, 2008 by carol the aphid eater 
Well, I’d held back writing a piece on Doug until I’d actually had a chance to work with him…and now I have.
First off, my ears are still rattling!
Doug is a rawker in the truest sense of the word. His many bands have graced the best stages throughout our fine city and the world and have left audiences in awe of his remarkable talents for years. My mother used to tell me, being a good, supportive and deluded mother that she believed I could sing in any style, from Elvis to Mahalia she’d say. Well, if this were true for anyone, it would be for Doug Hilsinger. Except…he does it all with a guitar. A mean, ground shaking and altogether unbelievably impressive guitar. The man has been in every type of band conceivable. From country and blue grass to head banger and speed metal. He can do it all!
To name but a few;
Spokepoker
Assassins of God.
Bomb
Waycross
Behold the armada
Hallflowers
Bee and Flower
The list just goes on.
Then of course there’s his groundbreaking recording of Brian Eno’s Taking Tiger Mountain (By Strategy).
He re-arranged Eno’s entire masterpiece, deconstructed its original and turned it out and into a masterpiece of a whole new and different imagining. Eno himself gave the record a nice little blurb via telephone. Check it out.
http://www.saucefaucet.com/enomessage.mp3
Need I say more? Very well…I shall. Doug has even performed Taking Tiger Mountain (By Strategy) with his Eno Orchestra at no less than world famous Fillmore Auditorium.
http://www.saucefaucet.com/tiger.html
Now here is where I mooch my way into the picture. Last night, I had the extreme pleasure…(honestly I hadn’t had that much fun in a long, long while, including the night before at my own band’s cd release party!)…of playing with one of Doug’s outstanding cover bands at The Eagle Tavern.
If you have not seen or heard any of Doug’s many cover bands with which he performs once or twice a year at The Eagle Tavern, then you are really missing out on some fun fun fun!!! You owe it to yourself as a true San Franciscan to come out and see these shows. Every year, he assembles musicians from all walks, all male; who don wigs and dresses, and for one night only, performs what amounts to sheer magic.
Here are a few that I have seen and have left me speechless;
Cinnamon Girls- Neil Young and Crazy Horse
Fat Bottom Girls-Queen
She-Gees- Bee Gees
52 Grrrrls- B-52’s (in which I got to be Cindy Wilson)
And then, of course, there is his maverick band, Bomb
Bomb, was the name of an acid fueled San Francisco based hard rock band started in the late 80’s. They toured extensively, released several albums, including one on Warner/Reprise in 1992, but began their career with a vinyl only LP on their own Boogadigga Records circa 1987 entitled “To Elvis In Hell”. The band were known for their intense music and wild onstage antics…and occasional nudity.
Their first LP caught the attention of Rock and Roll scribe and historian Greil Marcus, as well as a slew of indie zines and punk rock fans across the American heartland where they toured.
They signed to Bay Area based Boner Records in 1988 who put out “Hits of Acid” on vinyl and cassette.
Bomb - I Loved You Then I Died
Bomb -Smile & Pose
This record was followed up in 1989 with “Happy All The Time” a vinyl & cassette EP. At the time they were one of San Francisco’s most popular local acts outdrawing local faves like Primus, Chris Isaak and 4 Non Blondes, and soon worked out a European deal with Gary Held’s fledgling Revolver label to release “Lucy In The Sky With Desi” in 1990, the band’s first CD, which combined material from both earlier Boner releases.
Heck, they even did a certain Depeche Mode cover that was recorded and released in Germany in 1990, a good decade or so before Johnny Cash got hipped to it by Rick Rubin…
Bomb - Personal Jesus
In 1991, they attracted the attention of former Jane’s Addiction manager Charley Brown, who got the band a deal with the Warner Bros. side imprint Reprise, originally founded by Frank Sinatra.
Bomb - There Is No Promise Of A Future In The Moment
Gee do you think that song title could’ve dimmed their prospects with Warner Bros?
If that wasn’t bad enough…
How about telling WB’s in house legendary Van Halen / Doobie Bros./Bullet Boys producer Ted Templeman you don’t want his stinking help and instead spending your budget flying out to fat worthless world music remix czar Bill Laswell’s pad.
The CD/Cass that resulted was “Hate Fed Love” ponderously produced in Brooklyn by Laswell’s lackey’s , basically sucking most of the life out of the band’s sound and creating a record that would soon flood cutout bins nationwide. Can you say Tax Write Off?
(Ironically, The Flaming Lips, another difficult to pigeonhole act that Bomb toured with, were brought on board the label at the same time with a more loving touch by a certain David Katznelson, and are still on the WB to this day. Even after Katznelson left the corporate hoo haw…)
Bomb’s total lack of tour support, non-existent radio & retail promotion, infighting, spiraling speed and heroin use all doomed the band. They broke up in 1993, but eventually emerged out of rehab & ruin to play some celebratory San Francisco shows in the late 1990’s and released a fan farewell CD only EP called “Lovesucker.”
Doug also manages and books the world famous Eagle Tavern, and has championed the careers of many bands the world over, which is why touring bands clamor at the chance of playing The Eagle. Not to mention, it’s one of thee best paying venues in the city for up and coming musicians.
http://www.sfeagle.com/
Doug Hilsinger records, mixes and masters many bands including my own, Mon Cousin Belge, Quelle Horreur in his own studio, Saucefaucet.
http://www.saucefaucet.com/
So, stop by The Eagle sometime, and find the tall handsome guy with the red hair and goatee. Say howdy and ask for a cocktail, because he mixes them like he does his music. Which is to say, “he does not fuck around!”
Un autre video pour Le Show by Aaron Sunshine
August 25th, 2008 by carol the aphid eater
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you…Devonce!
August 20th, 2008 by carol the aphid eater
And yet another?
August 18th, 2008 by carol the aphid eater
Emile, a promo video for Mon Cousin Belge cd release party by Aaron Sunshine
August 14th, 2008 by carol the aphid eater
le fantôme belge
July 15th, 2008 by carol the aphid eater
Choreography by Danyol
Phag Off faggot! Final Party, Rome.
July 1st, 2008 by carol the aphid eaterOur pal Francesco, a.k.a. Warbear, the hottest bear of all time. And trust me, I am not into The Bears. This man, Francesco, is a Roman God… He foin grrrrl! …HE FOIN!!! And he is about to throw the final celebration for his party Phag Off in September. But it’s in Rome, so all you SF and LA faggots probably won’t make it. Emile sends his regards.
This from their website;
Phag Off deconstructs inner stereotypes of gay communities: “Another sexuality is possible” Phag Off has the form of a monthly bacchanal party. A dirty mail-art-like newsletter is the track to follow; the party extreme contents are driven by: Politically incorrect vjing with d.i.y. queer porno and freeware open source video software; Queer Music promotion - being it queer djing with a special focus on information freedom through plagiarism, bootlegs, mash ups or/and queer bands, live sets; Fanzines, Exhibitions; Spoken words and performances; Independent video presentations; Pink rallies; Partecipation to queer related festival and conferences.
check out this mix by my hairy Italian lover Francesco, my Jupiter, my Mars, my Mercury!
http://www.flxer.net/SCUMTAPE4.mp3
http://www.phagoff.org/
San Francisco…shame…SHAME!!!
June 30th, 2008 by carol the aphid eaterFuck gay pride and fuck gay shame!
What about San Francisco Pride? And what about San Francisco Shame? Yesterday, at our 38th Annual Gay Pride Celebration, some friends of ours who came up from Los Angeles to take part in the festivities, to spend their hard earned dough on nine-dollar beers and five-dollar corn dogs, attended a party at The Phoenix Hotel. The oh so still trying desperately to be trendy Phoenix Hotel. Well, after having paid THIRTY GREEDY DOLLARS EACH, to attend this “exclusive” party, that’s NINETY dollars collectively, and no sooner had they entered these faux-hipster digs that suddenly they were all immediately and not so kindly removed from the premises by no less than FIVE ham fisted thugs with protracted brows, without cause or reason, whatsoever!
This from the Phoenix Website;
How many hotels can claim that Keanu Reeves, Joan Jett, Vincent Gallo and Little Richard have graced their mattresses (no, silly, not all at the same time!)? How many hotels are the crash pad and launching pad for world-renowned bands like the Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Psychedelic Furs and Pearl Jam; and up-and-comers like The Killers, Bloc Party and The Shins? With so much creative energy swirling around you never know who might be strumming a guitar, posing for a photo shoot or just kicking back by the pool.
I suppose I would seem naïve to not expect such vulgar displays of violent idiocy coming from a hotel, which boasts the likes of Keanu Reeves and The Red Hot Shitty Peppers to hock their wares online!
This is the kind of stupidity that shames this beautiful city of ours and makes visiting tourists from say…Helsinki…say to themselves, “ah…on second thought, maybe we should just have our holidays in Oslo or Stockholm.”
I mean honestly, these friends of ours? Not burning man burnouts, not pee in the pool pugilists from Petaluma, not loud, hardly security risks! Unless of course management at The Phoenix Hotel finds kind, sweet and genuinely interesting people threatening.
And this from Rolling Stone Magazine;
“The Phoenix Hotel has fast become the hotel of choice for the rock community, with a fancy swimming pool, jungle sounds piped into the courtyard…this could be your ticket to hanging poolside with the likes of Radiohead or Sonic Youth…”
All the fancy and no doubt expensive ads in the world, all the cheesy quotes from boring magazines are never going to exonerate your repugnant actions yesterday. Perhaps we here at World Famous in San Francisco should contact the corporate entity, Joie de Vivres Hotels, that owns you, and demand an apology. It is shit like this that makes San Francisco, in the words of my friend Mark who’s from Halifax, Nova Scotia say, “San Francisco is so…provincial.
He will destroy you!
June 22nd, 2008 by carol the aphid eater
He is the man of men! He is the man of men magnets! look into those eyes. you want to move to Pacifica with him and massage his aching shins when he’s come home from a nice bike ride through the surrounding hills. You want to stroke his thick man muscles and caress his cyclist thighs! You can scarcely contain yourself! He will only destroy you in the end. Don’t you understand? Don’t you understand!!!