Armistead Maupin and his husband who he met on the Internet invite you to something…

November 14th, 2008 by myles

What’s In? What’s Out?

November 13th, 2008 by myles

In

MERSA (you probably have it)
Pinkberry
having a relationship
synchronized swimming
broccoli
holiday cards
not saving peoples names in phonebook
never paying retail
Prop 8
pre-spending stimulus check
Chicago
excessively repetitive outfits
senior appreciation
pumpkin
European tourists

Out

Scabies
Jamba Juice
being single
The Olympics
posting too many YouTube videos on blogs
Sneakers
Wine tasting
Micro brews
Pomegranate and Lychee
Overcooking protein
pastels
poll watching
home makeover shows
diamonds
premium denim
Japanese tourists

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The Ethel Merman Experience

November 11th, 2008 by carol the aphid eater

“You can sacrifice your sachro
Working in the back row
Bump in a dump til you’re dead
But kid ya gotta get a gimmick
If ya wanta get ahead!”
S. Sondheim

Everyone needs a gimmick and this lady’s got ‘em all!
But I feel I need to take out my god givin’ faggitude and say some things.
First;
WHY THE HELL ETHEL???
You do not look or sound like Ethel Merman. You look and sound like Joan Crawford and/or Bette Davis. Truth be told, I think any man over the age of 30 with a wig and smeared make-up looks like either Joan Crawford or Better Davis. Truth be told, you look more like the smashed up front end of a 1960 Plymouth Savoy, but now I’m just being mean. Listen, you got the gimmick right, but ya just got the billing WRONG!
Here’s Joan now!

And of course Bette!

Second;
It’s time for a change up in the ole musical repertoire grrrrl! I’m sure the AC/DC and Led Zeppelin… (three Zeppelin covers alone when I last saw you. PAINFUL!!!)… goes over nicely pretty much every time, but frankly, I think you’d be a helluva lot more interesting if ya took it up a few notches. I recommend a tutorial at Elton Tom’s house. He will hook your shit up with some more contemporary if not insightful numbers. No more tired ass freakin’ U2 or Bachman Turner Overdrive. I mean I know that these moldy ass songs you’re doing are sometimes necessary if not to at least appease the dumb people in the audience, but do you want to spoon feed people or do you want to FUCKING RAWK THE SHIT? How cool would it be for a lady of your err…age and err…talents to belt out an X-Ray Spex, Avengers, or even Slits song? I personally think that you could rawk the shit out of some Ramones (oh wouldn’t the kiddies just love that?) or maybe some Dolls, Stooges or Chuck Berry? I personally would love to hear you do your Ethel (though you look and sound more like Joan and/or Bette) doing “Release the bats” by Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds or maybe “Country Faggots” by The Country Teasers. If ya HAVE to do Jefferson Airplane, think of it like pepper. Sparingly.
GREAT gimmick, though not quite as funny or impressive as The Dueling Bankheads.

Check out these dorks I found on Youtube doing their best Ethel. I hate to say it…but…after your Elton Tom tutorial maybe a quick trip to Youtube for a lesson with some of America’s finest?

These two are just for fun

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Diary of a grade school leather daddy Crayola box teacher and lukewarm nightlife entertainer

November 11th, 2008 by myles

My dream was to be an artist with enough popularity to warrant the leisure of recording albums with bottomless budgets released with global pedestrian acclaim. This was a fantasy… as any child feels they have the untapped power of a superhero… I felt I deserved the fate of The Beach Boys, Queen or The Beatles - even if I was agonizingly average.

I had a desire to stand on stage and make a fool of myself. Not because I was especially talented or funny, but because I was addicted to humiliation. It gave me an emotional arousal that was unmatched in my “real life.”

My mother was a teacher at my small town grammar school- my behavior was civilized, I scored fine on tests, and didn’t show any signs of schizophrenia. My family and teachers didn’t worry about the way I would turn out. My troublesome half siblings were either dead, shipped off to their other parent or too grown up to be in the house. My childhood was happy, but there were lonely times I felt unattended to.

I had unexpected public emotional outbursts. I quit sports teams by screaming at the coach over routine drills. This behavior felt relieving - but I didn’t like the vulnerable hangover. I refined my approach for attention by learning to be passive aggressive and to be an artist. I mean “artist” in the most pretentious way. You know how somebody who creates material from their mind seems worth listening to? Yeah I wanted that sort of attention.

As I grow older it occurs to me that I am much less an artist and much more an entertainer. I play bars BIweekly and am only known locally. I’m too unpopular to be deemed relevant… and too young to have any sort legacy. Basically I’m step away from becoming your average drag queen… far from my hopes of being in a classic rock band. But wait… there is hope!

I’m gonna get all Tony Robbins on you and say- there may be someone out their who believes in you… and wants to genuinely glimpse into your perspective. This can be as simple as someone falling in love with you, or as complicated as someone understanding your shitty art. Let it happen and give your 100%… the worst thing to die with is regret.

Myles and Christopher Owens (preform The Passionistas’) “Righter’s Block” 11/5/08 live at the first Club Club You’re Dead

I am happy I put 100% into my Halloween costume, even if I just wore it to work and fell asleep shortly after 8pm. I regret putting 83% into my performance Wednesday at WFISF’s Club Club You’re Dead. I’m not dieing any time soon… And I promise to be a more entertaining entertainer next time. Thank you blessed people. I cherish your smiles.

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Tweaker Bitch by Mon Cousin Belge

November 8th, 2008 by the all knowing eye

VIDEO BY PETER MAX LAWRENCE AND REBECCA PARKS-RAMAGE

Posted in Uncategorized, label, news | 7 Comments »

Passionistas are playing a show!

November 7th, 2008 by aaron

I know, I can’t believe it either! Somehow the Passionistas have pulled themselves away from hitting each other, bromancing, youtube and drinking gold flecked champagne to play music! In front of people! OMG!!!!

We’re playing with the caldonias (check out there video for ‘Vice Magazine’ below, which is pretty good for a video about cool people being cool [as opposed to a Passionista video, which is just cool people being retarded]) who everyone really likes actually- it’s Nadia from furrce perrm, Bob, a blooozy guitar player and this totalllly cute drummer <3 <3 <3 (Sydney?).

http://www.myspace.com/thecaldonias

Also, it would not be a queer punk night in SF 2k8/9 if Forever wasn’t playing it. Dude, so many people say that Forever is there favorite band!!!! It’s crazy!!!! I thought we were people’s favorite band, but maybe we’re just old and grimy? maybe we need band tat’s on our wrists and then we can be everyone’s fave again. It’s really unfair.

Actually, I have more questions about the Vice Magazine video. First, do they like vice magazine? I LOVE vice, but I feel like they are making fun of that. Are they making fun of me? Are the caldonia’s trying to make me feel insecure, or do they just not care about my feelings? Am I in the know? I will freely admit I know nothing about music, especially anything that is happening now.

Second, how did they pay for all those people from San Francisco to be in there video? I refuse to believe that any of those people could POSSIBLY be from Portland (just look at there skin- you can tell people from the PNW because they all have great skin). I mean, they look SOOOO SF. I guess thats what you do when you have a big budget, but you still want to make a really authentic video. I wonder if they used a charter plane, one of those executive time share jets or something wacky like a train? Was it a party train?

Oh yeah, so I guess you should come to this show. It should be fun?

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pro prop 8 ads on myspace - so annoying

November 4th, 2008 by Jeremy Smears

I have been getting steadily more annoyed by these “yes on prop 8″ ads all over myspace. I’m not sure with who though. The “no on prop 8″ camp for not having their ads out there? Myspace for accepting the ads (should I think that myspace is anti gay? should we throw a big pink boycot?) The Mormons for paying for the ads? Ad targeting systems for not realizing I’m a bad market for that ad?

Uggh, when can we get to moving marriage out of government? I just want them to issue me and whomever I chose to do my business with a contact. Leave marriage to the churches and other places I don’t go, personally I don’t need these institutions to validate my life decisions.